Here is a small thing that annoys me.
When I collect my youngest child from school (the older two are self-transporting), I wait in the school reception area, with many other parents. The children come down the hallway, and are often heavy-laden with the gear of school life: backpacks, violins, sports bags, swimming bags, coat or sweater trailing on the floor. The child deposits an item or two, or sometimes all of them, at the feet of the parent. The parent picks up the luggage, and they set off towards the car together.
Parents, please do not do this. It really annoys me. Quite apart from that, it is a practice that encourages your child to see you as a porter, or servant, or some invisible life-facilitating entity. Your child is not a toddler, when picking up after them is a more reasonable task. They have carried their stuff around quite adequately all day, without you doing so on their behalf.
I understand that they are weighed down with it all, and you have two free hands. Helping out is sensible. So what I suggest is this. Either teach them to ask "Mummy/Daddy, could I ask you to help me carry my bag?" and to wait for your reply, before dumping the bag in front of you. Or say to them "Would you like me to help you with all that stuff?" and wait for them to reply (using the word please or thank you), before unloading some of it from them.
I try not to be a preachy parent, because we're none of us perfect, and you never know who is reading your blog, but well, this one annoys me. We signed up to be parents, not pack horses.
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Classic.
ReplyDeleteI have iterated to my lot so often that "Mummy is not a donkey!" that they now tell each other to carry their own bags, stating, quite appropriately, that "Mummy is not a donkey!"
Practice makes perfect?
LCM x
Ha, I always do this exact thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I am guilty of this -- but I draw the line at carrying every single item. Littleboy 2 really is tired at the end of the day, and I'm happy to take his stuff as long as he carries one thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to do a whole separate post though on getting children to organize their stuff....I'm going nuts this week as we collectively have forgotten something every single day on the trot.
Well, I'm glad this happens on both sides of the Pond. Only last week I was chatting to a dad and one of his kids literally threw the backpack at him. It didn't even land at his feet, it hit him square in the chest. I think the dad was slightly embarrassed but tried to laugh it off. On other occasions, the kids just walk on ahead of the parent - they're not even running off for an activity, they just can't be bothered to carry their own stuff.
ReplyDeleteI have to say though, my 11 year old's backpack weighs a ton and sometimes I offer to carry it for him. Given that he's almost as tall as me he usually has the grace to say No Thank you.
But you offer - that's the point. He doesn't just assume.
DeleteYou are right.
ReplyDeleteAgree, agree.
ReplyDeleteWell said - I'm currently trying to get mine to not just dump their stuff at my feet (especially when I can't physically carry the baby and their luggage) - I guess some parents like to be needed?
ReplyDeleteI do agree so much with you. They should learn to be polite.
ReplyDeleteWish all parents thought the same.
Maggie x
Nuts in May
They do this at my (German) school in Korea as well, so it seems to be universal. I don't know if it's just that kids today have more stuff, or if it's because my mother never picked me up at school (I walked or rode a bus) but I would have never dreamed of handing my stuff to my mum just because she was there.
ReplyDeleteWell, you're probably right but I can't tell you how much I would love to see my (now grown and away) children coming towards me as small people. I can't remember if they ever did what you describe, but they were polite children so possibly not. Anyway. Treasure this time. I know old people always say this, but it's true! (I do still see my children frequently - I don't wish to sound as if I live in an isolated cottage surrounded by wolves.)
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until I read this post that I realised that I'm guilty of this too. She does ask often, to be fair, but I still end up carrying all of the bags or hanging them on the pram handles. I don't really mind, but should it be an expectation? I need to brood on this for a while...
ReplyDelete