- If you start a letter with Dear Mr ..., you sign off Yours sincerely.
- If you start a letter with Dear Sir, you sign off Yours faithfully.
It got a bit flowery when I did French, and learnt that you have to do lots of bowing and scraping and promising to be cordially someone's servant when you wrote to them.
It got confusing when I went to America, and my children were taught at school how to sign off letters, in ways that I didn't really recognise: Yours truly (well, we Brits take it as read that what we've written is true!) or Sincerely yours (which is just backwards).
But with the advent of email, it's just exploded into complication. When I was at primary school, painstakingly copying out and completing exercises from Pathways to English, they didn't teach me what to do about emails. What is the correct way of signing off an email? (I'm not talking emails to friends here; I'm talking emails to people you don't know but are dealing with on an official or semi-official basis.)
I use Regards if it's a first contact, and Kind regards if it's a few emails down the line and I want to be a little warmer. If I want to step up from that, it's Best wishes, or (really pushing the boat out here) With warmest best wishes - but that's a bit sucky uppy, I feel. I don't often use Yours sincerely or Yours faithfully in emails. Am I right?
I've put the cart before the horse, though. I should have started with email salutations. In a business or official email, is Hi, or Hi there, or Hi Jane, ok? Or are they too informal? Do you say Dear ..., as if the email was a proper letter? Does anyone, anywhere still start off Dear Mr ..., or are we all on first name terms these days?
Oh good, I'm glad it's not just me who is never quite sure what to do! I use exactly the same endings as you for business type emails, but starting them off is sometimes difficult. I sometimes start with 'Dear', if it is a formal one. I would use 'Dear Mr....' for a first contact business email, possibly moving on to using their first name depending on the nature of the correspondence. Good morning/afternoon is also one I have used. I think I am still a bit 'old school' and wouldn't immediately go to first names, unless I didn't know their surname at all.
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered this. I edit a letters column in a newspaper and most emails that come to me have no sign off at all - sometimes not even a name, which is tricky when the only clue email address is snoozywoozy. I stick to Yours sincerely for total strangers because I'm middle-aged and Best wishes for slight acquaintance. But the real pitfall is the xxx. So ubiquitous are meaningless kisses that one casual friend was offended when I didn't use one.
ReplyDeleteMe! I do. If I'm writing to a business I still write "Dear Sirs.... Yours faithfully", and if I have a name it's "Dear Mr whatever... Yours sincerely".
ReplyDeleteI'll graduate to "Dear Jill... Best Wishes" once I've had a reply from an actual person, but it's never anything other than those three. Unless I know you, when it's obviously "lots of love and snogs", or whatever...
B, on the other hand, drops the "Dear". I read his work emails over his shoulder from time to time and I can honestly say if he (or anyone else) ever emailed me as just "Harriet", I'd assume he was a) American and b) rude... But it seems to work for him.
Mine vary from Dear Sir or Madam, to "hey" depending on who the recipient is, and "Best Wishes" to "Cheers" or "xoxoxo" for the same reason. I think when you're in business mode and writing to someone for the first time, you can almost never be too formal. I've sent out a lot of cold e-mails recently promoting the book and there have been some cases where I didn't know whether the person was male of female, even though I had the name. That was tricky because I couldn't write Dear Mr. or Dear Ms, but I felt very uncomfortable starting a letter with Dear Toni Hargis. Not that I was writing to myself of course.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm pulling a full on Brit thing I pile on the formalities!
I cut back to the very basics. It's just at the start, and at the finish.
ReplyDeleteNo 'Dear', no 'Illustrious', no 'Thou-art-highest-in-my-esteem' or anything like that as a precursor.
No 'Warmest', 'Cordial' or 'Sincere' at the end.
If I know them better, then I sign off 'Best' - and leave it up to them to imagine the rest.
I suppose it is a form of rebellion against the formality imposed on us growing up in Italy where everyone, regardless of how you knew them, was addressed by a title that indicated their 'standing' in society (regardless of whether they were deserving of such accolade or not!), e.g.: 'Avvocato' Rossi (lawyer), 'Ingegnere' Bianchi (engineer), 'Ragioniere' Roberti. I am still addressed as 'Dottoressa' (doctor) because of my degree (not in medicine btw) which I find farcical.
What makes me laugh here is how the finance manager at the kids' school signs off every email (to ALL parents, fortunately bcc'd) 'With every good wish', as if we would be cursed and damned forever more otherwise.
Of course, there is always the phone!
LCM x
'Ragioniere' being an accountant, since I managed to omit that!
DeleteAlso realising that second sentence does not make much sense - am blaming technology for being too clever!
DeleteI meant to say it's just [first name] at the start, and [my name] at the finish.
I will shut up now!
I struggle with this every day in the office, I'm definitely old school and often still do 'Dear' and 'yours faithfully/sincerely' in emails. Sometimes I end with 'kind regards' or 'best regards' and I write my full name, then I take my lead from how they reply. However I have a real problem with using a clients first name in any correspondence much to my boss's amusement!
ReplyDeleteI struggled with this for a while and then opted for warm regards at the end and hi first name at the front.; seems to work out okay. as far as i know nobody has black listed me because of it yet.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea of the etiquette but tend to use Best Wishes or Kind Regards if it's someone I don't know. And I
ReplyDeleteAnd I get lots of emails for my blog addressed to "Dear Nappy" which always makes me scream.
I usually start with Hi - no name if I don't know the person, first name if I do. Sometimes I just go right to the point without any salutations. Emails to me are an alternative to a conversation or a handwritten note. Notes aren't as formal as letters. I might sign off with Thank you, Take care, Much love (if it's a long catch-up type email to a friend) or just with my name depending on the tone of the email. I have been guilty of sending an xo after my name on occasion :)
ReplyDeleteYou're right though it can get tricky writing emails - balancing between too familiar and too formal. The rules for letter writing were straightforward. I wonder if children going through school these days learn the rules for writing an email?
Oh this is off topic Iota, but I was over at a friend's house for a brunch the other day. She's English. When I took her up on her offer for a cup of tea, she listed the black teas she had in her cupboard: "Earl Grey or builders?" It's coz of your blog that I knew what she meant by builders... I immediately thought of you and had to share! :)
ReplyDeleteIt all seems to be becoming more informal now and I'm not quite sure how to handle it without causing offence At work, it seems now that if I'm writing Dear Mr.... I write Regards for the first e-mail and Kind Regards thereafter, but if they've written to me and signed off with their first name, I use their first name for the first reply and use Kind Regards straightaway. Does that make sense? A minefield!
ReplyDeleteif work related and I don't know them, I use the same format as per letters. But if it is something a bit more relaxed e.g. asking about a holiday property to let or whether an item I have ordered can be personalised, I tend to do Dear or Hi and end with Best wishes or Regards.
ReplyDelete