The Pursuit of Happiness - book review

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book to review, through BritMums. For other reviews of the book, see the BritMums Book Club discussion.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Part of that enjoyment was that the author wrote it when she moved with a young family from the UK to the US. Transplanted to a new culture, she was challenged to ask herself what it is that really makes you happy. I found so many echoes of myself, ten years ago. There is nothing like moving to a different society to make you ponder what exactly are the happy-making elements of daily life, since almost all of them change overnight.

Other reviewers found the author overly critical of other cultures and snarky, with a tendency to make sweeping statements. I remember when I started writing a blog from America, I got rather bored of always saying "... but this might not be typical of America generally, it's just my experience". Each post seemed to need a disclaimer. It would be very hard to write a whole book with disclaimers all the way, and I felt that Ruth Whippman included enough personal detail about herself and her children to make it clear that she was writing from her own situation. She didn't come across to me as smug. For example, she notes that she didn't like the stereotyping judgement that a Mormon man makes of single New York women in their thirties, and why they find it hard to find a marriage partner, but in noting her reaction, she acknowledges that other people's views (including hers) of Mormon women marrying young into lives of domesticity are equally stereotypical.

Whippman's criticism is of sub-cultures, institutions, systems, ways of life, rather than of the people within them. I always felt she was treating the individuals she wrote about with respect, and I didn't find her tone judgemental. It was clear to me that her investigation was always about the wider phenomena in which people live (a religion, a parenting fashion, a self-help conference circuit). I warmed to Whippman when she describes how she and her husband decide to have their son circumcised, as they are both (at least part) Jewish, without being able to articulate the reasons why. For her husband, it's "instinctive tribalism", and for her, well, she doesn't quite know, but senses that belonging to a community is an important thing for her son's future. I liked her for not being clear cut, and for understanding that other people's lives aren't clear cut either.

I enjoyed Ruth Whippman's writing. Her experience as a journalist is evident. Her style is clear, concise and elegant. I often found myself re-reading a sentence, simply to enjoy the way she had said something. She can also be very funny, in witty one-liners which had me reading paragraphs out loud to Husband, and telling him he had to read the book after I'd finished it.

What I enjoyed most of all about the book was that it set out to ask (and I don't think it set out to answer) a question that seems such an important one for our time. The clue is in the sub-title. The book is "The Pursuit of Happiness - and Why It's Making Us Anxious". For all the opportunities available to us now, for all the scientific knowledge, for all our improved health and education, it seems obvious to me that we are an anxious society. I found the book at its most interesting when Whippman was looking at the 'Positive Psychology' industry (for it is an industry). She describes how it is increasingly the case that the responsibility for happiness is laid at the door of the individual. The logical conclusion of this, is that if you're not happy, it's because you're not trying hard enough. I've begun to notice this insidious attitude, and I really don't feel comfortable with it. It smacks to me too much of the Victorian well-to-do who held the notion of the deserving and undeserving poor. Whippman gives a few concrete examples where this underlying philosophy has permeated public policy, which I found disturbing (unemployed people in the UK are now subject to "attitude profiling": those with a negative attitude or not displaying enough evidence of motivation are required to spend 35 hours a week at the job centre, whereas those with a more positive attitude may continue their work search on their own schedule at home). Whippman brings her journalist's thoroughness to her research. The lack of integrity she uncovers in the world of academic 'Positive Psychology' is dismaying, given the amount of faith we all place in it, and the way it feeds into public policy.

I thought the book had gaps. She considered whether religious faith makes us happy solely on the basis of the community it creates. Surely she should have looked into whether believing in a higher power is of itself a factor? What about the health and fitness industry? These days, we're bombarded with advice about exercising or eating our way to happiness. What about family life? What about friendships? Is there something peculiarly 21st century that we're doing with those now?

Whippman came across to me as clever, funny, kind, compassionate, and full of common sense. I wish she lived down the road, and then we could mull things over, proper British cups of tea in hand. I think we would agree on many things, and on those we disagreed over, I would still enjoy her sparky, intelligent style of discussion. Would I recommend the book? Absolutely. In fact, when Husband has finished reading it, if you would like my copy, I will pass it on to you. First come, first served.

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