You know you've been in America too long, when...

... one of your commenters points out that you've said "a whole heap of things", and you don't see what's odd about that.

... you no longer recognise one slice of ham between two slices of buttered bread as a sandwich. It's simply not worthy of bearing the name.

... your 6 year old daughter tells you she thinks you should get braces on your lower teeth. In her life, 99% of teenagers, and quite a few adults of varying ages, have braces, and crooked teeth are a crime against humanity (and, for the record, mine are only very slightly crooked).

... you find yourself telling someone about Guy Fawkes' night, and explaining that it's a "celebration of democracy" (yes, I used those very words), because that suddenly seems like a positive way of describing the rather sinister practice of burning effigies.

... you still hold onto practice/practise easily enough, and humour will always need its u, but centre begins to look wrong.

... you've written 325 blog posts.