Nooooooo.....!
I remember well the day I was shopping, deep in the heart of America's Midwest, in Target, with my sister-in-law who was visiting from London. We saw an adult fleecy onesie for sale, and we both had to suppress a nauseous reaction. If we weren't physically gagging, we were very nearly doing so. I seem to remember being vaguely comforted by the idea that this was America, and we couldn't imagine these abominations would ever catch on in Britain. Alas. How wrong we were.
Why, oh why, would any self-respecting adult buy a onesie? Is that it? Have those who bought onesies done so as a statement of lost self-respect? Is it a way of getting referred for therapy on the NHS? Do you go to your GP, and say "Not only do I struggle with feelings of depression, but I've also bought a onesie"? Or were those millions of onesies all bought by people who didn't know what else to get friends and relations for Christmas?
A onesie. It's a step down from a slanket, and that's saying something.
Do you wear a onesie like pyjamas? In which case, aren't the soles of your feet all dirty when you go to bed? Or do you wear it like a dressing gown - over your pyjamas? In which case, isn't it just horribly bulky, like Michelin Man? Does it make you feel like you're in a fleecy version of Star Trek? Don't you get very cold when you go to the loo? Do you find yourself hopping about, crossing your legs, sucking in your breath, while you fumble with that long, long zip? Or poppers? Please don't tell me you have poppers.
Please, if you're a 1 in 8, enlighten me. 'Fess up. Are YOU one of them?
