Ye-e-e-es, I thought that would get you reading.
While the rest of the blogosphere is bursting with Hallowe'en spook, I break my blogging silence to bring you my reflections on one of life's imponderable questions.
Why is dog poo brown?
And specifically, why is it brown, in autumn?
We dog owners, we have a hard life. If the dog is squatting, unless we fix our eyes on the exact spot, and march swiftly to said spot, without looking to left or right, or even blinking, we will find ourselves looking for a poo among multi-coloured-but-all-of-them-a-variation-of-brown fallen leaves, which said activity makes looking for a needle in a haystack seems as easy as pie. Incidentally, that's a ridiculous metaphor, because baking a good pie is actually very hard, as any Great British Bake Off viewer will tell you.
But, dear Bloggy Friends, here is the magic of blogging. I present this as a problem, and then I turn it into a business opportunity! Ta-da! I am going to invent some kind of non-toxic food colouring that shows up in poo in a neon colour. It's probably been done already. The medics love that kind of thing, don't they? They're always putting odd substances inside you and then filming it, or scanning it, or chopping it up. I'm going to patent a dog food that produces neon glow results!
Better still, I'm going to find a way of putting into dog food that infra-red (or is it ultra-violet?) substance that they use to stop bank note forgery. It's ultra-violet, isn't it? Not infra-red. No. Anyway, where was I? Then I'll sell some kind of wand-y thing, that dog owners can wave over the ground, to locate the purple poo. This is better than the neon glowing poo, because the poo will remain invisible to the general public, and only be visible to the guilty dog owner. We don't really want the parks of Britain to be littered with neon splodges, though our trainers and wellies might thank us for it. It wouldn't be very sightly. Although let's get back to the seasonal subject of Hallowe'en here. Dotting the park with neon splodges would actually be a rather Hallowe'eny thing to do, wouldn't it? It would really put the poo into spooky (see what I... never mind).
OK. Back to blogging silence. Enjoy Hallowe'en!
.
Showing posts with label poo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poo. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Paul's house: take two
Day 17 of 'The Daily Post'.
Since I discovered the 'if you can type, you can make movies' website, we've been entertaining ourselves with it. It's quite fun when your kids get to the age when they are able to do this kind of thing with you, rather than building train tracks (though I do miss the train tracks). It's a little humiliating, because they are so much more adept at the technical stuff, but once you've got over that, you can have some laughs. And there's less to tidy up at the end of the afternoon.
The boys also enjoyed browsing Youtube with me (it's out of bounds for them on their own) for remixes of the 'Poo at Paul's' Glade advertisement.
12-yo has masterfully combined the two, and made his own movie version of Poo at Paul's. Here it is (and it's only 27 seconds).
Since I discovered the 'if you can type, you can make movies' website, we've been entertaining ourselves with it. It's quite fun when your kids get to the age when they are able to do this kind of thing with you, rather than building train tracks (though I do miss the train tracks). It's a little humiliating, because they are so much more adept at the technical stuff, but once you've got over that, you can have some laughs. And there's less to tidy up at the end of the afternoon.
The boys also enjoyed browsing Youtube with me (it's out of bounds for them on their own) for remixes of the 'Poo at Paul's' Glade advertisement.
12-yo has masterfully combined the two, and made his own movie version of Poo at Paul's. Here it is (and it's only 27 seconds).
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Paul's house
Day Eleven of 'The Daily Post' (and if it's not about laundry, it's about poo).
One of the anxieties of an expat is this: when I go home, will I find everything so changed that it won't feel like home any more? This is a valid concern. Things like this aggravate it.
I hate American tv commercials, and have always considered British ones very superior. But this is making me challenge my assumptions.
What worries me about this advert is why the mother seems quite happy to let her son go out of the house on his own. Are we to assume that Paul lives next door? And if so, why does he need a backpack?
I am also worried by Paul and his family. Do they open the door to this boy and say "Hi there, John, come for a poo again? Nice to see you."?
But most worrying of all is this. It must have been made by people who know nothing of small boys, otherwise they would be aware that most of them positively enjoy pooey smells. It would be more convincing if Paul was coming round to the stinky house to have a poo (though not so good for Glade's sales figures).
My only comfort is that there are some great remakes on Youtube.
One of the anxieties of an expat is this: when I go home, will I find everything so changed that it won't feel like home any more? This is a valid concern. Things like this aggravate it.
I hate American tv commercials, and have always considered British ones very superior. But this is making me challenge my assumptions.
What worries me about this advert is why the mother seems quite happy to let her son go out of the house on his own. Are we to assume that Paul lives next door? And if so, why does he need a backpack?
I am also worried by Paul and his family. Do they open the door to this boy and say "Hi there, John, come for a poo again? Nice to see you."?
But most worrying of all is this. It must have been made by people who know nothing of small boys, otherwise they would be aware that most of them positively enjoy pooey smells. It would be more convincing if Paul was coming round to the stinky house to have a poo (though not so good for Glade's sales figures).
My only comfort is that there are some great remakes on Youtube.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)