Oh, go on then.
I just don't get it. Either you want a blanket to snuggle under on your sofa, in which case, get a blanket. Or you want something with sleeves, in which case, get a sweater (or jumper if you're English). Listen carefully: either... or... Shall I run that by you again? Either... or... Got that? Who on earth wants to wander round the house, looking like a Hallowe'en alien commander gone wrong, tripping over an oversized garment whose only redeeming feature is... hang on... hm... can't think of one. A slanket has no redeeming feature. Except that they're optional. You don't have to have one. And guess what? I don't. (I do have an alien commander Hallowe'en costume though. Well, my son does.)
I don't know which is worse, by the way. 'Slanket' or 'Snuggie', which was the name used to market these apologies for household items on this side of the Atlantic. The name 'slanket' sounds like the kind of false expletive you use when you're in the company of children. "Oh slanket!" you might say, as you pour Cheerios all over the floor because someone has ripped the bag open sideways, and half the contents has ended up loose in the box, but you hadn't noticed before you aimed for the cereal bowl with your usual morning abandon. But 'snuggie' is somehow worse. It's the thought of opening a present on Christmas morning in front of your relatives, and having to say "oh, a snuggie! Just what I was hoping for!" In that situation, you need a word that doesn't sound as embarrassing as you feel embarrassed. 'Snuggie' is the kind of word smurfs might use. In fact, I bet you can buy a blue 'Smurftastic Snuggie' on Amazon. I'm not going to look. It would be too depressing if I'm right.
Let's leave the slanket/snuggie to one side and move on to an article that yesterday made me shiver with horror as I spotted it in my local supermarket. Pajama jeans. And yes, peoples, we're talking pajama, not pyjama. But honestly? Really? Truly? Pajama jeans? Why? Just... why? Of all the sartorial innovations there could be in the world, why, why would someone invent pajama jeans?
Let's try that nifty "either... or..." tool that we learnt about during our analysis of the slanket. Here goes. Either pajamas... or jeans... Either pajamas... or jeans... See? It works here too. If you want to wear pajamas, wear pajamas. If you want to wear jeans, wear jeans. Are we getting the hang of this yet, peoples?
I can't imagine what pajama jeans are for. Are they nightwear or daywear? Or (*shudder*) are you meant to wear them in the day and simply not bother to change when it's bedtime? And then get up the next morning and not have to put clothes on? Are they for people who live life in the fast lane and have no time to get dressed and undressed? In which case, do you wear panties underneath them or not? I am not coping well with this concept.
Deep breath, Iota, deep breath. This is not armageddon. Just pajama jeans in your local supermarket.
I have one final reflection, Bloggy Peeps. Hybrids are cars, not clothing.
