All about me

I've been tagged to answer a whole list of random questions, by Emma Kaufmann, who blogs at Mommy has a Headache. Thank you, Emma!

1. If you could go back in history who would you most like to meet?

I would like to meet some of my own forebears. That's rather ego-centric of me, isn't it?

2. What was one of the most embarassing things your kid said in public?

I'm going to have to write a post about the time I was in a doctor's waiting room, and joked with my daughter (aged about 5) about a bruise I had on my arm, and how I didn't want the doctor to see it because he might think Daddy hit me (why? why does one say these things?) and... you know the rest of the story. It's actually worse than you think, because this wasn't our GP or anything run of the mill like that. Oh no. This was the Immigration Center doctor, giving me the medical I had to pass to get a Green Card. "Embarrassing" isn't really the word. "Acutely inappropriate, painful, and possibly life-changingly significant" is more like it.

3. If you were an animal what would you be and why?

Elephant. They take life slowly and seem very sociable. Hm... they do have a 2-year gestation period, though, which would have been tough.

4. Have you ever eaten Haggis? Did you like it? 

Yes, I eat haggis regularly and really like it.

5. What's the stupidest thing you have said in a job interview?

I didn't say this, but I thought it so hard that I think it must have appeared on my face in neon writing.

I was fresh out of university, had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, but had applied to the graduate training scheme for M&S. First stage was to go and look round an M&S store, and have a preliminary interview with a local manager. So I went to M&S Aylesbury, and a keen young graduate trainee showed me round. I was horrified. She was so excited about stock control. She talked about how you had to be 100% committed to the company - you couldn't choose where you started. You could be sent to M&S Inverness, or M&S Penzance, or anywhere in between. I didn't have plans for my life, but I absolutely didn't see myself at the beck and call of a big company that sold socks and knickers. And I knew I couldn't get excited about stock control. I mean, I was going to use my life to make a difference to the world. (I have lost some of my youthful idealism about careers by now, you'll be glad to hear.)

After my tour of the store, she wished me good luck and showed me into the manager's office. The manager's first question was "So what attracts you to a career in retail management?" and I must have had "Nothing at all" written across my face for a good few seconds of embarrassed silence, before I managed to mumble something. I didn't get through to the next stage.

6. Do you believe in friendship between men and women?

Not really. And the more someone protests that they are "just good friends, but it really works", the more I know that they aren't and it doesn't.

7. Is Kate Middleton someone you look up to or someone who seems awfully nice but basically completely uninteresting?

I don't look up to her, but I don't think she's completely uninteresting. My mother thinks she is "a dark horse", and my mother is often right. She meant "dark horse" in a good way, by the way.

8. Do you feel like you are a slave to technology?

I try very hard not to be. I went through a blogging addiction phase, but I came out the other side. It's why I don't have a Facebook page, because I know I would spend hours on it. I can happily live for a few days without a computer or phone. No, truly (but only a few...)

9. Have you ever had a chip butty? If not would you like to?

Yes. One was enough. My children invented the Ritz Cracker sandwich (using toast, not just plain bread), which I think is probably similar in terms of carbohydrate overload. One of those is enough for me too.

10. If you were on a desert island what one record from the 80s would you bring with you?

If I could figure out the answer to that question, I would certainly be clever enough to figure out how to get off the desert island. So many to choose from, each with its own set of memories and associations. I think it would have to be something Fleetwood Mac, possibly Dreams, because, yes, I really am that unoriginal. It does sum up a whole era, though, you have to agree. From the point of view of health (physical, not mental), I should really take Wham!'s I'm Your Man. I and my flat-mate used to do DIY aerobics to it, and I can't hear it without wanting to launch instantly into various repetitious actions with my arms and legs. It's amazing how often that song is played in supermarkets these days. I almost have to leave if it comes on, so Pavlovian is my response. It would keep me fit if I took it.

11. Do you understand the rules of American football?

No. Of course not. I only lived there for 5 years. How many Americans living in Britain for 5 years would understand the rules of cricket? The only rule I know about it, if you're a mother, you're allowed to hate it and hope your young son will never want to play it.

Now I have to:

• Acknowledge the nominating blogger by linking back to their blog – thanks Emma, at Mommy has a Headache (I've already done that, actually)

• Invite 11 more bloggers to take up the challenge and give them 11 questions to answer. Please, Bloggy Friends, don't let your hearts sink. It took me about 15 minutes to answer the above 11 questions. This can be a very speedy blog post!

Here goes:

1. What is the view from the window of the room where you are currently sitting?
2. Do you buy lottery tickets?
3. If you had to live in the Arctic Circle, or on the Equator, which would it be?
4. What's the novel inside you (you know, the one that everyone is supposed to have)?
5. Do you still have your wedding dress (if you're married)?
6. Is your big toe longer or shorter than the one next to it?
7. Name a guilty pleasure.
8. If you could change one thing you've done in the last week, what would it be?
9. What's your middle name? (go on, we're all grown-ups now, it's not embarrassing any more)
10. Can you, with Edith Piaf, say "Je ne regrette rien"? 
11. What fairy story character do you most identify with? (don't over-think this one)

(Wow, that was fun, thinking up those 11.)

And I'm asking:

Gappy Tales (because you made a comment recently about having too much time on your hands)
Expat Mum
Nappy Valley Girl
Middle Aged Matron
12 Hours To Bedtime
Circles in the Sand
Ms Caroline
Bod for Tea
Carrot Crush in the Hindu Kush
Plan B
Sticky Fingers

Over to you, Ladies!

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